The Ten Best Jungle Cruise Jokes
Attractions Fun Facts Magic Kingdom Plan

The Ten Best Jungle Cruise Jokes

THIS POST MAY CONTAIN AFFILIATE LINKS. PLEASE READ OUR DISCLOSURE FOR MORE INFO.
Are you a fan of the Jungle Cruise? Do you like jokes so BAD that they’re awesome?

Jungle Cruise is my all time favorite attraction. I am a sucker for bad jokes, which is exactly what this attraction is all about. While Jungle Cruise skippers have their standard jokes there are always new ones popping up as skippers spend more and more time lost out in the jungle.

The List of the 10 Best Jungle Cruise Jokes

On Previous Jobs

Before I came to the Jungle, I worked in an orange juice factory, but I got canned because I couldn’t concentrate. My boss almost beat the pulp out of me…

On Haunted Mansion

haunted-mansion-00
Haunted Mansion Copyright Disney

Your cadaverous pallor betrays an aura of foreboding, almost as though you sense a disquieting metamorphosis. Is this boat actually leaving the dock? Or is it your imagination? And consider this dismaying observation: this boat is completely surrounded with water, and I’m you skipper. Which offers you this chilling challenge: to find a way out! Of course you could always swim away!!!

Zebras

zebra-dome
Zebra Domes

Do you know why it’s so hard to eat zebra? You keep getting white meat – dark meat – white meat – dark meat.

Waterfalls

jungle-cruise-waterfall
The Jungle Cruise Waterfall at Magic Kingdom allows you to experience the backside of water!

This is the backside of Schweitzer Falls, named for the backside of the famous explorer, Dr. Albert Falls.

Classic Warning

Headhunter territory on the Jungle Cruise. Copyright Disney.

We are now entering the most dangerous part of our journey. Shhh. . . This is a bad place to be headed.

A Classic Paradox

As we approach, please notice that there’s a dock on the left, and a dock on the right. But don’t let it confuse you. It’s a paradox.

Pirates of the Caribbean

pirates-of-the-caribbean-gallery09
Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Men Tell No Tales Copyright Disney

I think you knows too much. You’ve seen the cursed treasure. You know where it be hidden. You may not survive to pass this way again. DEAD MEN TELL NO TALES. . .

On Bathing

jungle-cruise-00
Elephant Bathing Pool on Jungle Cruise Copyright Disney

Awe look at those elephants bathing over there. You know, you make think that’s water coming out of their trunks but it’s snot.

Unbeatable Offers

trader-sam
Trader Sam from the world famous Jungle Cruise

There’s old Trader Sam, head salesman of the area. Business has been shrinking lately, so this week only, Sam’s offering a two-for-one special: two of his, for one of yours!

Romanic

jungle-cruise-gallery03
Dangerous hippo pool on the Jungle Cruise. Copyright Disney.

Oh no! Look at the Hippos that are about to attack the boat. Don’t worry I know just the thing that will scare them away, it worked on my last boyfriend. Screams, “HEY HIPPOS I LOVE YOU. I REALLY WANT TO MARRY YOU AND BE WITH YOU FOREVER AND EVER.”

What are you favorite jungle cruise jokes? Have you heard any better than those listed in our list?

Catch a Video of the Jungle Cruise

best-jungle-cruise-jokes-pinterest
Are you a fan of the Jungle Cruise? Do you like jokes so BAD that they’re awesome? Here is a list of the 10 best Jungle Cruise Jokes heard out in the jungle! http://www.howtomco.com

Patty

Avid Disney fan who has been visiting the parks since she was a little baby. Now, after moving to Orlando, she shares all her tips and tricks with you from years of experience.

You Recently Viewed ...

How To Use Pinterest: Disney Style

Best Queue Lines at Walt Disney World

4 Fun Facts about the Haunted Mansion

Top 10 Disappointing Situations at Disney World

What to Expect at Animal Kingdoms’s Pandora The World of Avatar

FREE: Disney World Attraction List PrintableSign Me Up!
+
64 Shares
Share2
Tweet
Pin62
Stumble